Beachin' vs. Beachin' with a Toddler: 2014

This past week my family went down to the Outer Banks for a little vacation. Hurricane Arthur attempted to dampen the event, but failed to keep us away for more than the day it took to inspect our rental home. I spent the entire week prior making lists, packing, purchasing unnecessary items, and watching the weather like a crazy person. To say I was excited was an understatement, and when we finally received word Sunday morning that our house was cleared for habitation I was ready to burst. Pack 'em up and move 'em out!

There's really nothing quite like a little R&R at the beach. Except when you have kids. Or even A kid. Then there's really no R&R, unless of course that stands for romping & rolling. Rushing & removing. Ransacking and raging. Certainly no rest and relaxation as it used to be known. I knew being a beach-goer with a toddler was going to be different, but I was not prepared for the difference it would bring to my activities.

Beach with a toddler:
6:30 - Trash trucks are on duty. Hear toddler rustling about. Please, please, please go back to sleep.
6:45 - Toddler sounds the wake up call. Pull him into bed  with us and turn on cartoons. Silently plead with God for 30 more minutes of sleep. Toddler proceeds to crawl over parents and attempts to leap face first off the bed. Cartoons are no dice. We're up.
7:30 - Make executive decision to walk to breakfast. Being the only parents with a toddler means we're the only people up. Can't risk waking the hungover people. Load up with container of gold fish and cup of milk, and strap toddler in stroller. We're off!
8:00 - Order breakfast. Entertain toddler with straw papers, jelly pats, and gold fish (the edible variety) until food arrives. Feed toddler french toast sticks, which are a miss. Too eggy. Neighboring diners wave at toddler. Toddler smiles back and simultaneously pushes all the mushed up food out of his mouth and onto his belly.
8:45 - Decide it's still early enough to walk around without sunscreen. Enjoying the beautiful day when toddler makes retching sounds. Yep, toddler has thrown up all over himself. Exchange "WTF" glances with husband and begin mile speedwalk back to house.
8:50 - Make executive decision to pull stroller's sun visor down to hide toddler from approaching strangers. Nothing to see here, folks!
9:15 - Arrive back at house. Hose off toddler and stroller to remove chunks. Toddler loves it. Screams when the hose is turned off. Tote arching-back toddler upstairs.
9:30 - 11:00 -  Toddler terrorizes house. Attempts to remove plug outlets. Shreds toilet paper. Eats something weird off the floor. He doesn't choke, so whatever.
11:30 - Feed toddler lunch. Most of it ends up in his hair as he's used the lunch meat as a styling product. Pomenade de Turkey.
12:00 - 2:00 -  Toddler takes nap. Parents eat lunch and also lay down for 20 minutes, which turns into two hours. Oops.
2:00 -  Toddler is screeching. Retrieve toddler and attempt to get ready for beach activity. This includes applying sunscreen, seemingly equivalent to catching a greased pig. Toddler laughs as you chase him around. Finally catch him and put on swim suit and rash guard.
2:45 -  Parents and toddler are ready for the beach. Load up the beach bag with snacks, water, sunscreen, hat, towels, toys. Lug all of it and 26 pound toddler across dunes.
2:45 - 4:30 -  Chase toddler, who has no sense of life preservation as he decides to take a stroll down the beach alone. Also chase him as he's chasing the receding ocean water. Attempt to explain that yes, you have sand in your mouth. No, you can't get it out when your hands are covered in sand. No, you also can't rub your eyes when you have sand in your hands.
4:30 -  Toddler has had enough. Nothing at the beach can keep him content at this point.
4:30 - 7:30 -  Bath, entertain, dinner, bedtime.
7:30 - 10 -  Parents finally enjoy the beach... air. At least it smells salty on the deck. Also they drink beer.



Beach withOUT a toddler:
10:00 -  Wake up and check phone. Lazily roll out of bed.
10:30 -  Eat breakfast and put on your bathing suit. Grab a towel, your koozie and a beach chair and off  you go!
11:00 -  Pop the top on a cold one while reclining your beach chair and grabbing your book.
1:00 -  Lunch, and maybe a beach nap, falling asleep to the sound of the waves and seagulls begging for your Cheetos.
4:00 -  Pack it all in and head back to figure out what the rest of your evening looks like.
4:00 - 2:00 am - Do whatever the hell you want.

(Koozie courtesy of jandpaper)

And there you have it.

But really, while our time at the beach was different than any pre-baby vacation, we still had a blast. I loved seeing Finn's reaction to the water (euphoric), and he loved hurling himself into any sand hold he could find. With all of that said, though, we're still keeping our fingers crossed that next year is a teeny bit easier!