I'm sure in a couple of my last posts I've touched on the fact that there are some things that no one tells you about motherhood. So either people didn't tell me what was coming my way, or I was incredibly blind, naive and just plain ignorant. It's probably a combination of everything, but the fact of the matter is that there are so many things that I feel like "been there, done that" mothers leave out when trying to prepare a new mom for life with baby. Probably because if they told you, you'd spend the rest of your pregnancy weeping. Just kidding. I certainly heard the old, "sleep while you can!" and, "life is no longer about you" spiels, but in honor of the fact that I have (almost) made it to six months of motherhood, here are six things I've learned on my own about being a mom.
1. Having a baby is the equivalent to being on a different planet. It's an alternative universe. Sure, everything LOOKS the same, but it's not. One day you leave to go have a baby, and when you return you bring this scary, albeit adorable, roommate in with you. This new roommate is here to change things up, and you've got to figure him out. He runs the show now, and you have to wipe his butt. Sometimes he's not very considerate and will puke in your hair. Who does this guy think he is?
2. Baby sleep is elusive. It's like Bigfoot, or a unicorn. Every now and then, you are SURE you've seen it - let's shout it from the mountains because you're that confident - but then reality smacks you square across the face and you're left wondering what just happened. Seriously. What. Just. Happened. The whole notion of, "sleeping like a baby," is utter garbage. Most babies sleep terribly and, in Finn's case, it's pretty unpredictable and inconsistent. One night he's sleeping like a dream and the next he's waking up every 45 minutes. One day he'll nap for two hours and the next day 20 minutes. Seriously, what gives? Like right now, he's been rolling around in his crib for an hour. GO TO SLEEP. PLEASE.
3. There are moments when I don't like being a mom. Yep, I said it. These moments are rare, and have always taken place in my darkest moments as a mother (which coincidentally also occur in the darkest moments of the night and are usually related to revelation number 2). One night a couple of week's ago when Nathan was at work, Finn cried for an hour and a half at bedtime. Not little fussy cries, but straight ANGER. That little dude was pissed. And he wanted everyone within a five-mile radius to know. I tried everything I could think of to calm him down; all the recommended techniques - shushing, patting, heavy handing, white noise, swaddling, unswaddling, reswaddling, half-swaddling, crying along side him - and he just wailed. Finally, he fell asleep around 9 pm. Well, around 12:30 he woke up... and started crying again. For another 90 minutes. I was seriously about to lose it when I walked to the living room, sat down, and texted Nathan, "Ok, I don't want to be a mom anymore." Obviously, I was half-joking, but the reality is that being a mom is HARD sometimes, and sleep-deprivation makes you crazy. After all, there's a reason why it's used as a torture technique.
Now, just to clarify, I love Finn, and I love being his mother. When I say there are fleeting moments when I don't want to be a mom anymore, it has nothing to do with him or the way I feel about him, and everything to do with the fact that sometimes the responsibilities of being a mom are overwhelming. Sometimes, you just want to escape to the old life and sleep when you want to, eat when you want to, buy things spontaneously, and go somewhere without it being as logistically planned-out as an escape from Alcatraz. And dammit, some days I just want to lay in bed and eat Cheetos and watched Snapped.
4. Everyone has got an opinion. Ok, this one I could have seen coming, but it is one of those things I started learning when we shared Finn's chosen name. I get that it's unique, but people will still give you a look, or drop the, "Oh, that's interesting. Is it a family name?" gem. Also, more recently, after discussing it with Finn's pediatrician, Nathan and I decided to hold off on introducing solids until Finn is six months. I fully understand that this is something that is from a new school of thought but as I mentioned, we discussed it with our pediatrician, and as first-time parents we heeded his advice. Still, everyone and their cousins want to know why Finn isn't eating steak yet, or licking icing off a cupcake. Or they joke about slipping him something when, "mommy isn't looking." You do that. I dare you.
5. Rocking a baby to sleep is easily the best part of my day. I have prohibited Nathan from this because I enjoy it so much. We put on our PJs, sometimes read a book, and I rock him while giving him his last bottle of the day and listening to lullabies. I try to put him down drowsy so he can learn how to put himself to sleep, but hearing his little sighs and seeing how he rolls into me makes me want to hold on to him forever. I know I will miss these days in two years when he's hitting me or throwing stuff at me. Or when he's bigger than me, which will be in about a month.
6. Being a part of a baby's firsts is absolutely amazing. Seeing Finn roll for the first time, or sit on his own, or even eat a piece of avocado for the first time, is incredible. I always knew how proud my mom was of me and my siblings for the most ridiculous things. Now, I totally get it. I want to cajole up the marching bands and fling sparkly confetti around the house every time Finn accomplishes something new. HOORAY! You put your feet in your mouth! You've put your own paci in?! YOU ARE A ROCK STAR! I am positive the list of ridiculous things I'm proud over is only going to grow. I'm going to be THAT mom, and I'm totally cool with it.
BONUS!
7. No one tells you how much you're going to talk about poop. Right? It's just poop! But, my GOD, there's so much to discuss! What did it look like? Did it happen today? Why hasn't he pooped in three days? Why is there SO MUCH POOP?! Dammit, it's up the back again. Annnnd he's still pooping... I feel like 75 percent on mine and Nathan's conversations these days revolve around poop. It's insane.
Obviously, I've learned a lot more about being a mom and what is means to be a parent. It's easily been the most challenging and rewarding experience. It simultaneously makes my heart burst with happiness and makes me want to drink an entire bottle of wine. BUT, I do love it, and I wouldn't trade that little critter for anything.
5. Rocking a baby to sleep is easily the best part of my day. I have prohibited Nathan from this because I enjoy it so much. We put on our PJs, sometimes read a book, and I rock him while giving him his last bottle of the day and listening to lullabies. I try to put him down drowsy so he can learn how to put himself to sleep, but hearing his little sighs and seeing how he rolls into me makes me want to hold on to him forever. I know I will miss these days in two years when he's hitting me or throwing stuff at me. Or when he's bigger than me, which will be in about a month.
6. Being a part of a baby's firsts is absolutely amazing. Seeing Finn roll for the first time, or sit on his own, or even eat a piece of avocado for the first time, is incredible. I always knew how proud my mom was of me and my siblings for the most ridiculous things. Now, I totally get it. I want to cajole up the marching bands and fling sparkly confetti around the house every time Finn accomplishes something new. HOORAY! You put your feet in your mouth! You've put your own paci in?! YOU ARE A ROCK STAR! I am positive the list of ridiculous things I'm proud over is only going to grow. I'm going to be THAT mom, and I'm totally cool with it.
BONUS!
7. No one tells you how much you're going to talk about poop. Right? It's just poop! But, my GOD, there's so much to discuss! What did it look like? Did it happen today? Why hasn't he pooped in three days? Why is there SO MUCH POOP?! Dammit, it's up the back again. Annnnd he's still pooping... I feel like 75 percent on mine and Nathan's conversations these days revolve around poop. It's insane.
Obviously, I've learned a lot more about being a mom and what is means to be a parent. It's easily been the most challenging and rewarding experience. It simultaneously makes my heart burst with happiness and makes me want to drink an entire bottle of wine. BUT, I do love it, and I wouldn't trade that little critter for anything.
