2014: Insert Reflective Inspiration Here

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

It's December 30, 2014. In approximately 26 hours it will be a new year. It's always around this time that I become reflective of the twelve months that have flown by. What did I accomplish? Did I do everything I could to make it memorable? What will I remember about this year 30 years from now?

January 2014

This year in particular has been a mix of highs and lows, of joy and sadness. I know all years ebb and flow, and I've had a rough past few years anyway, but this was the year that the previous four finally came to a head.

Obviously, the big event for me this year was losing my mom in March, and if you've read my blog even a little then you know that this has been difficult for me to come to terms with. Some days my grief washes over me like a rogue wave, sudden and unexpected, and other days I feel... OK. Her absence in my life is physically felt in the way my chest tightens when I think of her, which is quite often. Every single night since she died I lay down at night and think of her before I fall asleep. I imagine her laughing, and growling, and sitting at the table reading. I wonder what we'd be doing now if she were still here, or were never sick to begin with. I wonder if I'm going to die the same way. Some nights I cry, other nights I smile, occasionally I do both. It's a battle I'm sure I'll always fight and tonight, I'm OK with that. I can't tell you if that's how I'll feel tomorrow, but grief and I are on a day-to-day basis.


While my mom's death has certainly been an impacting event on my year and life, there's also been many, many joyous moments that I wish to remember and celebrate as well. Nathan and I started the year with a toothless little baby just learning how to crawl. We're ending the year with a walking, talking, temper-tantrum throwing 19-month old toddler who has somehow managed to gain 11 teeth and found his way in to a part of my heart I didn't know existed - all in the past twelve months! We celebrated another year of marriage, went to the beach (though it was a bit different than I remembered...), went to weddings, celebrated engagements and babies with old and new friends, and survived our first-full year of parenthood together.

Finn learned to crawl in January of 2014


By June 1, 2014 he was walking.


And now he's talking - with about 10 words in his vocabulary arsenal, including "cheese."

Though our year has definitely had sad moments, we are still undoubtedly blessed in this life. Looking forward to seeing what 2015 has in store for the House of Harris!






May love and laughter light your days,

and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours!
-Irish Blessing